Another Airport Drama

Thank God, this time, it is not mine.

My kuya and his family went home 2 months ago from Doha, Qatar. Once in Mindoro, they decided to rather stay except for my Kuya who will go back to finish his contract. And since they are having their third baby, it would be tougher to live in Doha with three kids. So Kuya was the only one who left today for Doha.

Ate Ne (my sister in law) cried a little, like a small river; the eldest AA followed, lastly and the loudest, Yomi was scandalously screaming on top of her small lungs. Every time she called for my Kuya, everytime she looked for her "tatay" while bitterly crying, it was like a dagger to me, piercing right though the core of my being. She is just too young to feel the bitterness innate to a normal Filipino life.

Alam nyo, when we were on college, not one from us has any plans of leaving the country - well, maybe to travel but not to stay away from the Philippines and be tagged as a OFW. Sigh.

That moment, I realized how I hate this Filipino Diaspora thing. It's just that for most Filipinos, staying here is not an option. This is the result of countless generation of corruption here in the Philippines. To add insult, the goverment is claiming that life is getting better for due to the economic improvement the current administration has brought to the country. Well, GMA has bastardized all sectors of the society just to stay in power. How is that, di ba?

Oh well, soon, it will be my time again to leave. I can't resist it and I won't resist it.

For now, I am here to enjoy the lunacy of Manila.

Chorvah chorvah

Major Things that happened to me since I came back in Manila three months ago:

1. Got stranded in Yangon with my chilli friends. I thought I'd gonna die! Obviously i survived. My blog about this has been a featured travel blog in travbuddy.com.

2. Went home in Mindoro. Forced my parents to join me island hopping. It was fun.

3. Started opening my nursing books again... preparing for something. :)

4. Went diving in Anilao. My first dive in the Philippines. I was deaf for more than a week. I thought I blew my eardrup when I forced myself to descend despite of the pain on my ear. It was as deep as 100 feet though (or about 100 ft).

5. Worked 12 hours a day on my first 2 months, on my third month, we have nothing to do. 

6. Since, there's nothing to do, I got advised that my contract will be cut short.

7. For a moment, I thought of going back to Singapore.

8. Dreaded the thought of number 7.

9. Unloaded some past burdens. I feel better now. :)

10. Spent more time with my family and friends. No lover still. :)

Things to look forward:

1. Last week of November 2009 for my nursing chuvalooh.

2. Oct 6 to 15 - Singapore for my US visa. Hello Chillis. :)

3. Possibly, will go to Bali on my 31st bday.

4. December 2008 - go home to Mindoro, dive in Apo reef, hike Mt Iglit.

5. Vigan visit this weekend, Mt Mayon visit with Foyan, more dive dive dive. :)

6. Work in the US. Hope Obama wins.

7. Or work in Ireland. Hello Nina.

8. 2009 Travel - Nepal and Japan. or maybe Southern China.

9. More family gatherings!

10. Having a boyfriend. harharharhar

Nuff Said

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The Lesser Days I Would Be Spending Here...

.....the more I realize that I made a right decision. :)

It is really time to leave Singapore, and be home for awhile...

One Way Ticket

It feels like I am on a runaway train that coming back is not an option. Maybe I am just a drunk behind the wheel. O wells. This is what I call separation anxiety.

I just purchased my ticket to Manila for a midnight flight on the night of the 26th.

It feels weird. and happy. and sad. and relieved.

I Got So Bored

Sigh. I got so bored yesterday... So much that I tendered my resignation. I will be back to Manila before this month ends. :)

Good Bye, Singapore. Welcome me back, Manila.

Some Vid

Para sa mga gusto tumawa sa Yule zizen:

Crossing The Rubicon

"Crossing The Rubicon" - a very popular idiom which means "you are fucked up". Hahahhaa. Nah, it means "there is no turning back". It shares the same meaning as the "die is cast". But I would love to use the former than the latter. It sounds more pedantic and serves my vanity needs.

Anyway, I have been thinking about certain points of my life where there's no turning back. No matter how I wished to turn back time, no but no. Life has to move on. Here are some instances that I can think about:

1. When my father's sperm fertilized my mother's egg for the third time. Man, only if I knew life would be so complicated, I would have asked them to do it the following night. (One assumption: I was made at night time).

2. After nine months on my mother's womb, I was compelled to leave my secured place. My mom said that she has not heard a baby cried as loud as me when I first saw the world. Maybe, I had a good foresight from my time of birth of what would happen to me in the next three decades.

3. When I first step into a classroom full of strangers. I cried for weeks until my Mom reached the point of deciding not to continue sending me to school for that year. I skipped nursery and has to go to the next level the following year. These were the years were my playmates were cats and kittens. I hated kids of my own age before. (now you know why I got this Antisocial behavior).

4. When my mom decided to put on halt her service as a Dentist in the school where I was taking my elementary and high school education. I was so secured (at least financially) when my mom was still the dentist of our school. I don't have to save enough money for my tricycle fare, and would buy toys whenever I wanted. I just have to drop by her clinic and ask for some coins.

5. When I first learned about the birds and the bees. I guess I was too young to be educated with that. What makes it harder for me is to find out that I would belong to a special group sexually. I have been in total denial before that I won't be following the natural course of life which is grow up - get married - have kids - die. For me life would be grow up - be fabulous - get botox treatment - do charity works - die. Or maybe I can do a Mother Theresa stuff, love so much that it hurts... :)

6. When I left my hometown. This is when I realized that we lack financial wealth. In Mindoro, money has never been my issue. There's no TV to feed me materialistic desires in Mindoro. Though my parents worked so hard to provide for us, this is when I started comparing myself to other classmates who got better set of clothes, who got better allowances. What the heck, it was an eye-opener but never a show-stopper for me to be atleast at peace with myself.

7. When I first fall in love. I could have wished not to feel love at all. Because love has changed totally the course of my life. This is the source of all fuck-ups. Love has made me feel so inadequate. Yet love has given me so much happiness. The same happiness that I keep on longing until now. I want to repeat the happy times, yet I know as I get older, things won't be the same.

8. When I first had sex with someone I like. Right, don't flash me the morality card. I had past innuendos with people not my liking. But when you have it with someone you atleast like, the first kiss seems like your true first kiss. The touch is much warmer and true. Every movement is sincere. After having this, I simply can't just go back to casual sex.

9. When I receive my first paycheck. This symbolized that I will never be totally dependent to my parents. Again, atleast financially.

10. When I started travelling. I just want to see more of the world. The more I see good things, the more I crave to see more good things this world can offer. This is when I realized that there so much goodness in all countries, that you have to learn how to unlearn some not-so good perceptions you have for a place or people or country.

There is so much lesson to learn with every crossing of the Rubicon. There is so much pain, but with pain comes the lesson. The lesson is the beauty of it all. With every breaking of the heart, the marrow of life tastes better. With every salty tears tasted comes the sweetness of recovery. This is why life is special. If cloning is possible, I would wish not to be cloned. I think death is another Rubicon to be crossed. And I don't want to cross it many times but one.

BOW.

Another Comeback

I have not written anything on this journal for quite sometime now. I have no other excuse but plain laziness on my part to write. Heniwei highway, so much had happened in the past weeks of my absence. Read more:

- I went for my two week vacation, 9 days in Manila and 6 days in India. I actually wrote my travel blog about each locations in my Travbuddy account. I am planning to simply copy-and-paste my entry there, but again, I am not inspired (another way to say I am lazy) to do so.

- After my vacation, I had to move to Kembangan from my downtown condominium in River Valley Area. Reason for moving: rent hike of about 100%. Singapore is getting more expensive, I would say.... This moving is a real huge change to me, Kembangan is more of a real Singapore - the walk, the boring looking HDBs, the good food yet cheap from the neighborhood hawker, the rush hour crammped bus ride, the schizo MRT ride every morning. You know what? I am starting to love it!!! At first, I was squatting to my friend's room (yellow, zoe). I was no longer accustomed of having a roommate. Much more, it was me who was squatting. I would not take from zoe the recognition of the diffiulty of having me for a roomie. hehehe.

- Last week, I had the common room available for my occupation. And until now, my stuff are not yet fully organized. It would take sometime for me to develop certain routine. But I am getting there.

- Another big update about me is I am getting bigger! Hahaha I never recovered from all the weight I put on during the vacation, and man, I just can't be stopped right now. I just love to eat. Reasons why I love to eat lately: As my bithday gift to myself, I finally decided to quit smoking, and for someone who is very oral person, I need a replacement for the smoking. Right now, it is food, I am not so sure after I give up food... maybe... *toot*. harharhar.

- Coming events? Christmas! My familia will be coming over to Singapore sans my brother's family. I am just to excited for this. My mom just got her passport after so much bruhaha, my tatay is still completing his document.. and his flactuating mood depending on his sugar level is getting aggrivated by this passport drama. The problem primarily is because both of my parents are not registered in NSO thus they are not part of the 82 million Filipinos. Then my father declared his birth place to be San Pascual, Batangas. However, in his Marriage certificate, it is indicated as Bauan, Batangas. They are not two different places. San Pascual has recently separated from the main town of Bauan to become an independent town. The DFA seems not to accept this reasoning. Ayun, my father has to come up with another document. Hopefully, he will get his passport in time of the flight.

- Also, i would like to congratulate my sister! She just finished her degree in Nursing. I was teary eyed when I saw her picture in toga and all. Now I know how it is for the parents when one of their kids has finished a degree. I have two "kids" on my record now. :)

- Next trip? That would be on Chinese New Year. Where? Still a question. I want to go to Mynmar to see Shwedagon and the plains of Bagan but a lot of my friends and family won't allow me to go due to the political situation there. Next choice is Bali, but the flights going there are already full unless I would brave to take Garuda. I am okay with it but my friends are not. Now, I am looking oof going to Hanoi - Halong. But it would be winter and water would be freezing cold in Hanoi. That defeats the purpose of going to Ha Long. I like this kind of dilemma... hehehehe.

- About my US application? I plan of getting my stamp maybe early next year. I am not too excited to go to the US though. I am loving my stay here in Asia yet.

- Possibility of going back to my old employer? Status: In process.

There, this sums everything that I have been doing, thinking, pondering (etchoz!) while I was on vacation from writing here... or have I missed something here? :)